Ray,

This turned out to be a lot longer than intended. I hope it is worth your time to read and perhaps share it as I consider it public.

A friend give me the link to your interview with David Alink and said I might find some similarities. I did and then watched the three related videos from Mission to Amish People and the Step Out of the Boat conference. The initial similarities are not an Amish heritage but nine kids. But there is so much more.

While I celebrate with you the joy of a direct relationship with Christ, what stood out to me most was seeing you on stage and your wife standing beside you. You have something that so many do not know the experience of, and right now I don’t either.

On July 12, 2012 I had my sleeping baby, Zadok, on my chest while I was working developing software. My wife stated a friend from church was coming to pick her and the kids up to spend the day with them. I put my baby in a car seat with 7 other kids. Since that moment I haven’t seen my kids in almost 12 years. I did see my wife later that day and once briefly some weeks later. This all happened with the help of my father-in-law and the church we were members of, Covenant Presbyterian in Chattanooga, TN, of the PCA denomination. I was abandoned.

What I heard you state was how the Amish would essentially have their own dogma that superseded the Bible and the Bible was not to be examined. What you hear in the PCA is “the Bible is our final authority”, but what isn’t mention is “they preach, but do not practice” (Matthew 23:3). When you approach them for reconciliation the typical response is silence. On one occasion they literally sent the local police to intimidate me. I constantly quote Matthew 5:24 “First be reconciled to your brother” to hear only silence. It seems the Bible is their final authority when they can make it meet their goals. I will put my reconciliation effort up as a public example of stamina in pursuit of reconciliation: http://Kozlowski.org/Promise.

The issue that caused the division with my wife and myself was mostly financial. At one time I was a successful hardware and software developer with my own company Heritage Systems (http://HeritageSystems.com). When it collapsed I started to do contract software development and found that the corporate world was full of corruption. I ended up being a bit of a thorn wherever I worked and occasionally the whistleblower. What I was involved in was simply theft and often working with managers who were professing Christians. It seemed the idea of “You shall not steal” was too Old Testament for them and the benefits outweighed obedience to Christ. What I saw was Proverbs 1:14 “throw in your lot among us” being lived out in front of me.

Especially now that I can look back at this what I saw in myself was a huge blunder rate on my part as I did not know how to react and there was essentially no one who shared the concern about striving for obedience to Christ. Many high paying software jobs were lost and for a while I was working part-time for a friend at their butcher shop grinding deer meat and continuing to blunder.

From my experience and with the technology I was developing in 2012 I started a project called ShofarLeaks (http://ShofarLeaks.com). It also floundered as allies were hard to find. But in January 2023 I released a video “Modern day slavery – from cocoa to sex – offering a fighting chance for some” (http://ShofarLeaks.com/2023-01-10). It became my focus and was funded for a while. But again allies were hard to find, funding stopped, and I lost the home I lived in. I now live alone in a basement of a former bank building.

What keeps me going is the grace of the Lord. What He uses to motivate me is that the “Leaks” in “ShofarLeaks” is based on WikiLeaks. WikiLeaks came to the world stage due to Collateral Murder. I am perhaps only one or two people removed from those who pulled the trigger to kill the Good Samaritan, Mr. Tomal. The people in the middle were church leadership. The second factor is addressing sexual slavery. I have spent time in dialog with ministries dealing with victims and when a man asked me for help with his daughter, I became committed. But there is the primary focus on “facilitating reconciliation”. This is where my heart is, not only for others but clearly for my own family as well.

I don’t know if the ShofarLeaks project would be of interest to you or someone you know but I set it before you. However, when I listened to you it brought up yet another issue that we may share. You are quiet aware that there are those who will state a conclusion and then use the Bible, or a hint of the Bible, or an outright twist of the Bible to back their conclusion. I think we agree that we need to start with the Bible and strive to know what the Lord is stating rather than what we want it to state.

Well over a decade ago I read the Quran in an effort to understand the Islamic community to be able to reach out to them with the grace of Christ rather than turn a cold heart to them as I saw much of the Christian community doing. There is also those who try to state we are after the same God, which is simply untrue and I contend an unloving position. What I wanted to do was put the Bible into the hands of some in the Islamic community so they can privately find that it is not the Prophet Jesus, but the Lord Jesus. For some making this confession is a capital crime and as a technology guy I know how they can be found by the state and have developed ways to offer a degree of protection, or as I now state “a fighting chance”.

This is the ShofarBook project (http://ShofarBook.com). But there is also Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” Once I thought I was prepared to offer grace to the Muslim, the Lord put into my path one Mormon after another and many have become good friends. What I have learned is how to be a friend to someone where our foundation is radically different, but as a follower of Christ I can still offer love and grace.

While the ShofarBook project became dormant as allies and funds were not there, the concepts expanded. One part that I have played with is what I describe as Strong numbers on steroids. What I have found is that words are used in the Bible that demonstrate a consistent message from Genesis to Revelation. It also makes clear that the Bible is a love letter from our Creator rather than a rule book as so many see it. The desire is not to give a commentary, but the tools to allow the individual to examine the Scripture in depth including the ability to look at the original Hebrew or Greek without having to first learn the language. The objective is to take the intermediary authority or scholar away and allow a direct interaction with the Lord and the individual. And even more to give the tools to the dad to teach his kids directly in keeping with the Lord’s command in Deuteronomy 6.

But there is one more step that I very much desire to pursue. When dealing with the Islamic community I wanted to be able to develop a mutual understanding of what the similarities and differences are. To be able to set out were ideas match or differ between the Bible and the Quran without giving commentary seems like a great way to facilitate dialog. For example Surah 4:157 states that Jesus did not die on the cross but it only was made to appear that way. This contrasts with many verses in the Bible such as Luke 23:45 “breathed his last”. What a joy it would be to sit down with a Muslim with this understanding for a respectful dialog!

Take that one step further. It is often stated that we send young Christians to college and get atheists back. We need to prepare the young to be able to think. An example I often use is that given the Big Bang, macro evolution (change between species), and Genesis 1, which is the closest match to the definition of the word “science”. The Big Bang is only a theory as it was not observed or can be repeated. Macro evolution is also only a theory as again it has never been observed. Genesis 1 has the repeated statement “he saw it”. It was observed. By definition it is science. Now we have to test the credibility of the observer, but Genesis 1 is science. I want to prepare the young to make a case like this.

Apply that to any issue where “my pastor says…” I want to put into the hands of people the tools to be able to see arguments from all sides of a question so they can reason things through, rather than be a minion. It is to give them a mind to see ideas they may not agree with and then be “examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.” (Acts 17:11) Perhaps this concept is something that would be of value to the Amish community. This is a thought I will leave in your hands.

The bottom line is that I share the joy of being the dad of nine kids walking the earth. I share the heartache that I don’t see those kids. I share the grace of the Lord especially as it is Him alone who has held you and me in the trials He has allowed us to go through and still live this day. Part of my purpose in this long email is to encourage you that you are not alone. While your story is unique, there are so many that are so very close, such as mine. The Lord’s grace can handle them all.

If any of what I wrote is of interest to you or others, I would be more than willing to engage in dialog. In any case, I celebrate with you the Lord’s grace. Please look in the eyes of that lady the Lord has given you and celebrate again what a marvelous gift you have.

Respectfully,

John Kozlowski